Saturday, October 18, 2008

Happiness Trap #4: Trying to . .

. . . be happy by overcoming weaknesses. Well, I do believe I fall into that trap quite often. My focus is on my bad, on my negative behaviors (eating for medication and fun and love). Self-help books abound on overcoming our weaknesses. When I focus on my weaknesses and try to overcome them, I am focusing backwards, on what has been, on what the problem is, not forward on victory!

Trying to cure weaknesses seems to be a waste of time and energy that I need to achieve change. Focusing on overcoming weaknesses instead of being proactive about making life better, just keeps me spinning my wheels. I need to focus forward, on what I am becoming, on my strengths.

B.F. Skinner found that rewards (positive conditioning) are far more more powerful than punishments (negative conditioning). Easier said than done, but I think it is do-able. My co-worker Brandy and I are both going to Tempe and have made a pact to encourage each other in our nutrition and training during the next 13 months. We are both going to journal all our food and show it to each other, accountability. I can see now that instead of having a system for punishing our slips, we need to reward our successes and build our strengths up and focus on them!

This double chin is so outta here!

14 comments:

LBTEPA said...

What a sensational post, Duane! You are so right - we spend so much time focussing on our weaknesses - from now on I will spend much more time developing and rewarding my strenghts. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

It's great that you and Brandy can support each other in this!

Keep us posted.

Wes said...

Yes, I like being positive all the time :-)

Melissa said...

Thanks for this post. It is just what I need on my way to an Ironman in 2013. Thanks and I know you will do all that you desire. You are awesome.

Mary Sunshine said...

Write it, post it, share it, do it. Focus on your strengths and keep that gorgeous smile!

21stCenturyMom said...

Nice post!

I just read that the single most effective way to change the way you eat is to write everything down. Showing your journal to another is like double goodness.

And there's the bike, too! You can always feel good about riding. I always do.

Duane said...

I'm going to ride my butt of this winter!- literally! :-)

Melissa said...

I just started journaling everything I eat. I don't like writing down the mistakes, but it helps me. I like to see from day to day the better choices I am making. I will never go without journaling again.

Duane, you can do it!!

Brigitte said...

What a smile!!!
very good post. Tell us everything. We don't judge, we love you.
Positive,positive, positive.

SWTrigal said...

Rock on Duane!!

Anonymous said...

So much of our lives are spent in the wrong place because of our focus.. I use to spend most of my life in my work and bills.. I recall walking on a beautifully sunny day and I had no idea because my mind was trapped in my visa bill.. And remember nothing taste as good as being healthy feels.

Cheers.

Herself, the GeekGirl said...

Is winter a tough time for you? it is for me. It's like my body starts screaming for food in anticipation of a long freeze, whether to pack on warmth or store up energy, I don't know.

Kim Herring said...

If you live in a cold climate (like we do) winters can be tough. I am learning to not concentrate on the workouts that I missed but on the workouts that I did do.

Saturday is a perfect example - rode for 3 hours in the most amazing Fall (60F) weather watching the beautiful scenery go by and the deer scampering across the road in front of me. It was probably the best ride I've had all season. I'm also looking forward to spin class once it's too cold to be outside.

Keep up the good work and go out there and kick your own butt!

Jenny said...

Duane, have you check out the Beck Diet Solution? She is all about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (her dad basically invented it.) I've had some great success using this book and its tools - I was thinking when I started of asking if you wanted to be a buddy with me on it (but we don't "know" each other very well so I held back. If you're interested, check it out!